On this page 4 sections
Quick answer
- Orgasm isn’t a performance or a pass/fail.
- Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
- Solo exploration and communication help a lot.
- Medicines and health issues can affect orgasm – a GP can help.
Orgasms are wonderful, but they are not a test you can fail. Everyone’s body responds differently, and learning what you enjoy is a lifelong (and fun) project.
Meet the clitoris
The clitoris sits at the top of the vulva, where the inner lips meet – and it’s the star of the show. Cleveland Clinic’s gynaecologists say that without direct clitoral stimulation, most women don’t climax. So if penetration alone doesn’t do it for you, you’re in very good company.
MythMost people orgasm from penetration alone.
Lots of people need clitoral stimulation – with hands, mouths or toys – to orgasm. Nothing is wrong with you.
Things that help
- Solo exploration – learning your own body is the best teacher
- Time and patience – arousal can take a while, and that’s fine
- Lube for comfort
- Telling or showing a partner what you like
- Taking the goal off the table – pressure is the enemy of pleasure
- Penetration only
- Direct clitoral stimulation
- A specific position
Show the answer
B. Direct clitoral stimulation
Most women don’t climax without direct clitoral stimulation.
Sources
Written by the Splash teamSources checked
This is general information, not medical advice. Splash can’t diagnose. If you’re worried, talk to a GP, pharmacist or sexual health clinic. In an emergency call 999 (UK) or 911 (US). How we write and check articles.