# Consent & communication

> Enthusiastic yeses, easy nos, and how to talk about what you want.

Category: Sex & relationships · 4 min read · Written by the Splash team · Sources checked October 2026
URL: https://splash.care/learn/sex-relationships/consent-communication

## Quick answer

- Consent is freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic and specific.
- It’s needed every time, including in long-term relationships.
- Talking openly makes sex better and safer.
- Confidential support is available if something happened you didn’t want.

Great sex starts with great communication. [Consent](https://splash.care/learn/glossary/consent) isn’t a form you sign once – it’s an ongoing, two-way check-in that makes everyone feel safe and wanted.

## What consent looks like

Under UK law, someone consents if they agree by choice and have the freedom and capacity to make that choice. In practice:

- Freely given – no pressure, guilt-tripping or threats
- Reversible – you can change your mind at any point, even mid-way
- Informed – e.g. agreeing to sex with a condom isn’t agreeing to sex without one
- Enthusiastic – a real yes, not “I guess”
- Specific – yes to one thing isn’t yes to everything

**Myth:** If you’re in a relationship, consent is a given.

**Fact:** Consent is needed every time, with every partner – including long-term partners and spouses.

> Someone who is asleep, unconscious or very drunk or high can’t consent. Removing a condom without agreement is not consensual.

## Talking about sex (without cringing)

- Pick a relaxed moment, not mid-argument
- Use “I” language: “I love it when…”, “I’d like to try…”
- Check in: “Does this feel good?” “Want to keep going?”
- Agree a pause word if you like – a simple “pause” works

> **Splash says:** asking “is this okay?” isn’t a mood killer – it’s a sign you care. Confidence is attractive!

### When to see a doctor

If something happened that you didn’t want, it’s not your fault. You can get confidential help from a sexual assault referral centre (SARC), your GP, a sexual health clinic or Rape Crisis (24/7 support line: 0808 500 2222). In immediate danger, call 999.

## Sources

1. [Sexual Offences Act 2003, section 74 – meaning of consent](https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/74)
2. [Rape Crisis England & Wales – What is rape? (consent)](https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/types-of-sexual-violence/what-is-rape/)
3. [Rape Crisis England & Wales – 24/7 Support Line](https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-help/want-to-talk/)
4. [NHS – Help after rape and sexual assault](https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/help-after-rape-and-sexual-assault/)

This is general information, not medical advice. Splash can’t diagnose. If you’re worried, talk to a GP, pharmacist or sexual health clinic. In an emergency call 999 (UK) or 911 (US).