# Body confidence (in and out of bed)

> Your body is not a project. It’s your home.

Category: Sex & relationships · 4 min read · Written by the Splash team · Sources checked October 2026
URL: https://splash.care/learn/sex-relationships/body-confidence

## Quick answer

- All bodies are different and change across the cycle.
- Kind self-talk and curating your feed really help.
- Focusing on sensation can boost confidence during sex.
- Persistent appearance worries deserve support.

[Bloated](https://splash.care/learn/body-literacy/bloating) days, [spots](https://splash.care/learn/body-literacy/acne-skin), stretch marks, a [vulva](https://splash.care/learn/glossary/vulva) that looks nothing like the internet told you it should – it’s easy to feel self-conscious. But bodies are meant to be different, and they change across your cycle and your life.

## Small shifts that help

- Talk to yourself like you would to a friend
- Appreciate what your body does, not just how it looks
- Mute or unfollow accounts that make you feel worse
- Question edited, filtered images – they’re not real life
- Spend time with people who make you feel good

- **Period:** Comfy clothes and kindness. Your body is working hard.
- **Follicular:** Many people feel more energetic – a nice time to move in ways you enjoy.
- **Ovulation:** Some people feel extra confident. Enjoy it!
- **Luteal:** Bloating and water retention can make you feel bigger. It’s temporary and normal.

> **Splash says:** in bed, focus on how things feel, not how they look. Your partner is almost certainly not thinking about your tummy.

**Myth:** Vulvas should look a certain way.

**Fact:** Vulvas come in a huge range of shapes, sizes and colours. Different is normal.

### When to see a doctor

Talk to your GP if worries about your appearance take up a lot of time each day, stop you going out or seeing people, or lead to restricting food, over-exercising or self-harm. Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) and eating disorders are treatable. In a crisis, call 111 or Samaritans on 116 123.

## Sources

1. [Mental Health Foundation – Tips to improve body image](https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/our-work/research/body-image-how-we-think-and-feel-about-our-bodies/tips-improve-body-image)
2. [NHS – Raising low self-esteem](https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/)
3. [NHS – Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)](https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/body-dysmorphia/)

This is general information, not medical advice. Splash can’t diagnose. If you’re worried, talk to a GP, pharmacist or sexual health clinic. In an emergency call 999 (UK) or 911 (US).